RIP Pyaray Afzal :(

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Prison Break

(Neglect mistake. Currently don’t have time to recheck. Later perhaps)

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“The best gujjar TV series to this date.” – says The Times of RajaBazar

“Basheer have once again broken the code to a breathtaking, heartpounding , fast pace thriller.” – GawalaMandi Press

It is a story about, this guy

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Ghajni Gujjar, a civil engineer from NUST, Texas, Egypt. After years of berozgari (in which he played snocker, watched indian movies, bring dahi and dotch flying chappals of Ammi). One day, inspired by Amir Khan’s Gajni, he finally decides to seek future as a tatoo designer. Tries to sell his designes, but no luck. Hopless about those designes, he desides to become gajjni himself. Later revealed that being a structural engineer and designing prisons in the past few years, he had also added his engineering to the tatoos. Making them blue prints of  a prison. Still berozgar and kangal, like a normal Pakistani, he decides to rob a bank. It was a MQM dharna day in Karachi, so he thought robbing a bank won’t be a problem. But whaola, the Police actually showed up and arrested him. (Kyukay MQM k dharnay par Police nahi jati). He was sent to a prison he himself designed. Judge: “So you design prisons? Lets send you in one of your own making.” Such genious people, much wow.

His Brother:

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In the prison he meets his brother, Allah Rakha, the luckiest man in any TV series. He is so lucky people actually believe he writes his own story. Legend tells that, when he was a kid, he was so pale and weak that her mother took her to a bangali baba. He told her to change the name of the child to “Allah Rakha” and beat him daily if he doesn’t eat 2 rotis a meal, at age 9. So he grew up eating 2 rotis and maar, each meal.

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When he sees his younger brother in prison, he is like: “Chotay bahi? Tum Bee???”. But soon the mystery is revealed. Gajni had no rishta chances in the out side world, due to his berozgari and awargi. So he came to prison to set line with a doctor. As they say, world can change, when engineers meet doctors. (Or doesn’t).

This is the Prison Doctor, Sarah.

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Only one question. Why?

izayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-y-u-do-dis

But you don’t have to worry, coz its just a TV Series where such impossible things happen all the time. We all know how doctors are in real life.

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And then the doctor proves why she is there. She gives insulin shots to gajni with a regular sirunge, that too on his arm. Insulin shots are given by much smaller syringes and in less quantity. (Na k puri tube bhar k laga dow). So thats why she was sent to a prison paramedics. She must have killed patients earlier buy giving fever shots and panadol to everyone. But she was not fired as her sifarish was tagri (his father is a minister). So they thought, “lets send her to prison, there even if she kills 5-10 people a week, none will bother”.

Remember what I said earlier about Girls leaving engineering and going to medicine. Well after seeing this, I take that back. They should rather seek degree in gol-roti, as it will increase there rishta chances by more than 33.34%.

Without wasting time on all chracter, lets just have a general look at all the escapies.

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Anything common? Yes, all of them have some major hair fall issues. If I were making this TV series, I would have shown lifeboy shampoo and zubaida-appa beauty soap in the jail bathrooms.

Short Intro:

  1. T-bag (actual nick name): From lipton T-bag fame. The man behind the “aik waqt ma teen tara kee chai kesay banai?” mystery add. Hobby: killing people. 70-80% psychopathic. A retired political worker I suppose.
  2. Behjamin: Fame: Bin-Yamin lawn and fabrics. Joint owner of Beh-Yamin Brothers and Sons, cloth merchants and dastkari center, Patli Gali, Bara Market, Fasilabad.
  3. Fernando: The crusher, the lover, the believer. Believes in love at first sight. Has a good heart.
  4. The-Reject.
  5. The Mental one
  6. The Good-Ugly-&-Bad man. Worried about will falling hair.

Captain Ballick:

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Either I have seen monkeys and donkeys look better or maybe its because I hate him most. Have you ever known a person whom you want to punch in the face constantly till he dies. Thats the kind of person he is. No more words. I am loosing my cool here. much stop for now. SPOILER: But he dies a hero.

BTW, before I finish this is my favourite chracter

alex_mahone_by_solmaro-d6jzfhcAlexander Mahone (Alex), not only have the brains but also the martial art moves that make him cool. He look older than his actual age due to a drug addiction, which he quit in s3. You will see him from season 2 till the end.

So thats it with the intro review… I have 2 tips for you.

  1. Watch Prison Break in the first spare time you get.
  2. Never and I mean NEVER skip a single episode. The plot is too fast pase and every episode is at the standard level. *Unlike so many other shows that have few ‘space filling’ episodes in between. So enjoy every episode, coz you may not find a similar show again.

My season wise ratting: s1 > s5 > s2 > s4 > s3

Overall :  9.2/10

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The Dilemma of my life

Someone wrote a book; “The Dilemma of life”, but mine is not worth that much so I will just sum it up in just a blog post. Starting with making the fact clear that I am not one of those people that everyone loves. My mother thinks I am the most laziest person alive and that all the kids in our lane are somehow better than me. No objection.

When it comes to losing stuff, I am gifted at it. And with time I have mastered this art to perfection. Forget the long lists of past, just last semester I lost my phone (which was a gift), my jacket (only once worn) and a backup flash drive, in the same week. Not to mention 1 pen every second day as a standard loss rate. Due to this habit of mine I expect my father to tell me to leave the house every next time. I am living in this house on last chances.

Teachers’ first impression of me is of an intelligent nerd, which I am not, so I screw their expectations ‘big time’. Don’t listen to what they say and write blogs about them. Thus in a few months they hate me ‘big time’.

My younger brother (age 11) blackmails me to do his homework. Girls hate me. They have every reason to. Dumb luck happens with me so many times that friends think I ditch plans on purpose. In a nutshell, this world can’t handle me. Who likes a self obsessed person who is more virtually alive than really. Who watch humans by day and TV series of ‘goras’ by night.

The neighbours on our right have a cat. It stares at me for hours (but I am too lazy to shuussh it away.) It wants to attack my face. I have white fur, green eyes and claws in my nightmares.On the opposite side live the neighbors with dogs. Their dogs have eyes on me. Its funny that these two foes live in the same lane in harmony. What units them is their common hatred for me. Once the boy was telling me that his dog had a dream last night of chewing my leg. Yes his dogs can actually speak to him. (or at-least I think so)

This world is nuts. I bet you, if aliens ever come to Earth, they will take me away, because I am the only sensible person here. Plus I is not suited for a planet like this, so primitive. We could be great but unfortunately our scientist never invented anything that might actually help people. Like something that helps us downloads the whole school curriculum into our brains. But we can only wish.

Yet after all this, I have a fast and perfectly working internet connection and in the end that’s what matters. Download speed is enough to keep me alive. And then they people say I don’t have a life. My life is perfect. Go fix yours.

For those who don’t read my blogs and tells me to quit being awesome; on your face people. I am awesome, was awesome and will stay awesome.

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Finals coming up. You may not hear (::read) from me for a month from now. Itna ma parnay wala, but I will just give the impression that I am so into parhai for now.

Later perhaps. Stay awesome and enjoy your summer break. *crying from inside*

Bubbles

Bubbles are always good. Be it water bubbles that children blow for fun and play, or soap bubbles which attract children who are unwilling to take a bath. But there are also bubbles that are not technically bubbles but are used to make bubbles; we call them bubble gums.

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Yeah.. watch them.. aren’t they tempting you to chew

Its a sad fact that bubble gums are not allowed in our university campus. Here is the law as stated by the VC office representatives:

“Chewing gums are hereby declared haram in university territory. None is allowed to sell, trade or distribute any bubble gum or similar chewing material in the above stated region. Anyone found chewing, holding, transporting or storing such items will be expelled from the university at once. If you see one, kill at spot or call VC office.” (Text might be slightly edited for reader’s conveyance)

Thus the cafeteria department have no licence to sell bubbles. Twice it have been raided by forces on the slight smell of “fresh up” bubble gum. Yet none of these trick are able to stop the counter border trafficking of bubbles. Despite the three step through checking at main gate and using sniffing dogs that have violent response to bubble gum smell; dozens of bubbles are smuggled into the campus everyday. They are being chewed in every class room and lab.

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But the question is, why? why go through all this trouble for a few gums? The answer is simple. ‘Because they are worth it’. Bubble gums can be life saviors for a student.

Physiologists say that chewing bubble gum makes a person more attentive to the lecture. (Or one can be attentive to the chewing movement of jaws during bore lectures).

Studies show that people who chew bubble gums stay healthy and live longer. (chewing–>jaw and teeth workout —>healthy teeth—> easy to chew food—> properly chewed food —-> good health)

Also there are a number of fun things you can do with a bubble gum.

  1. Temporarily repair broken sandal. (It happens a lot in summers)
  2. Play stretch with it.
  3. Put it in a jar daily for safe keeping and when you have a gum ball big enough to attract attention. Auction it off to the highest bidder.
  4. Use it as earplugs in annoying lectures.
  5. Hang it from one ear and give people an impression that your brain is leaking.
  6. Extinguish a match stick.
  7. Blow bubbles and take photos for instagram as it bursts on your face.
  8. Create a spider web. Laugh at the spider caught in it. Laugh again because of the irony.
  9. Put it on a chair, laugh at one who sits on it.
  10. Smear it on your hands and climb up walls like spiderman.                                                               and many more like, etc and etc.

Yes its true. Isn’t it amazing? You can do all this with a mere bubble gum. So after considering all these plus points, I strongly support the revival of bubble gums in university. I personally recommend bubble gums to students of all ages.

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*BTW the girl in the pic have nothing to do with my university. Obviously because its an engineering school and engineering girls always look weird. (At-least in my head). Don’t be offended if you are a girl and engineering student at the same time. You can still take a biology exam and go to medical school. :p

Thats all for now. Later perhaps. Stay awesome

Defining Beauty

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Emma WatDaughter. *coz she can’t be a son.

Its gonna be boring so I will keep it short. This zubaida appa’s ad “aab gorra ho ga Pakistan” got me thinking, we Pakistanis always fall for a fair complexion. Not only us, but more than half of the world. We have many colored celebrities getting cosmetic surgery to look fair. Also we like people with colored eyes, like cats and redheaded and blonds. Maybe its because we take the definition of beauty as granted. Not getting into trouble of sorting out its truth for ourselves. Actually beauty is a fashion, a trend that changes with time. Maybe one day after centuries of evolution, trolls will be the new beauty.

TANG vs Mother’s Day

While everyone is busy posting annual selfies with their moms, there is a unnoticed force working beneath, putting questions in young minds. That force is TANG. Yes, TANG, that yuk flavored powdered thing. Here is a small peek at what its feeding to young and innocent minds.

An "Anti-Mummy Oppression" summit in session.

An “Anti-Mummy Oppression” summit in session.

1) The TVC starts with kids raising slogans [Mummy ke nahi chalay gee]^2. Meaning: Mothers are oppressors. Rise and take a stand against these dictators.

2) In the ad, mothers easily accept their children’ demands. Why? Because they are afraid of kids’ unity. Which is entirely pointless and they know it. But they put it there as food for thoughts for kids. What will their mother do to them under these circumstances? Beat them up with a chappal or a broomstick of-course. Oh the terror of that; they are the terrorists.

3) Mothers accept the demand of a  new TANG flavor everyday. (But the week is of 7 days and there are only 4 TANG flavors). Meaning: Mothers are lairs. They use deception and trickery to fool innocent children.

Final (hidden) TANG Verdict: Mothers are not to be trusted at any cost. #LongLiveTheRebellion

I demand this TVC be banned before the women rights NGOs get you.

#HappyMothersDay to all.

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